A: Suggest that you go get tested together. Set aside some time one evening to go to a clinic as a couple. Remember, this isn’t just about your health—it’s about your partner’s health, too. Mention that when you bring up the possibility of getting tested. As a side note: if your partner is outright hostile to idea of an STD screening, that should be a major red flag for you.
A: Going your separate ways after high school isn’t a great reason to have a sex. It might actually be a reason not to since your relationship is about to change a lot! Remember, you are in control, so if you’re not ready make sure your boyfriend knows that.
A: Constantly worrying that they’ll find out can be pretty stressful. Why not just sit down and have a conversation with them? Let them know that you’re being safe and that you just wanted to be open about what’s going on in your life. Once you tell them, they can actually be a great resource for relationship advice or for help getting birth control.
A: It can be scary when one person has more sexual experience than the other. The most important thing to remember is that you are in control. Just because he’s had sex before doesn’t mean you can’t be abstinent if you want to. Talk to him and let him know that even though you care about him a lot, you’re just not ready.
A: Try being straightforward and let her know exactly why you’re asking about birth control. Is it because you’re just curious or are you thinking about having sex soon? No matter what, let her know you want to be responsible and protect yourself when you do decide to have sex.
A: Your boyfriend should never tell you who you can and can’t talk to. Not only is it not part of a healthy relationship, it’s not practical. You’ll probably have to talk to other guys in class or to work on group projects, right? Try talking to your boyfriend about how you need the freedom to talk to whoever you want. Remember, trust is important in every relationship.
A: Take a deep breath and just come out and say it. You should always feel comfortable saying no to sex. If someone’s pressuring you to do something you’re not okay with, that’s not a healthy relationship. If you’re feeling nervous about having to say it in the moment, try having a conversation about what you’re ready for before things go too far.
A: Definitely not! Getting tested is a great idea for both of you—even if you plan on using condoms. Before they have a chance to flip out, talk with him or her about why you want the tests. Since you can get an STI from skin-to-skin-contact, vaginal fluid, and pre-cum, that means you can get an STI even if you’ve never had sex.
A:There’s no checklist to tell you when the right time is—it’s different for everyone. Ask yourself if you’re emotionally and mentally ready to have sex. It’s also important to have a conversation with your partner about taking that step or waiting and about using birth control and condoms if you do decide to take that step.
A: Definitely not. Lots of people wait until they’re married or in a long-term relationship before they have sex. Some people do it for religious reasons, some for personal reasons, and for some it’s a family value. Let your partner know why waiting is important to you. Remember, if your partner respects you, he or she won’t pressure you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with.
A: Try talking about using condoms before you have sex. That way you’re not talking about it in the heat of the moment. Explain why it’s important to use condoms to help prevent STDs and unplanned pregnancy. Let your partner know that it’s not that you don’t trust him, you’re just trying to protect both of you.