A: It can be scary when one person has more sexual experience than the other. The most important thing to remember is that you are in control. Just because he’s had sex before doesn’t mean you can’t be abstinent if you want to. Talk to him and let him know that even though you care about him a lot, you’re just not ready.
A: Try starting a conversation before things get too intimate. Be clear that you want to wait and let him know why. If you need more tips, check out our Talk to Your Partner guide. Remember, just because you’re not a virgin doesn’t mean you owe anyone sex. It also doesn’t mean you can’t be abstinent if you choose.
A: Absolutely! Being abstinent just means you’ve made the decision to not have sex. It’s something you can decide for yourself. Any day. Any time. Plus it’s the only 100% effective way to make sure you don’t get pregnant or get an STI.
A: Take a deep breath and just come out and say it. You should always feel comfortable saying no to sex. If someone’s pressuring you to do something you’re not okay with, that’s not a healthy relationship. If you’re feeling nervous about having to say it in the moment, try having a conversation about what you’re ready for before things go too far.
A:There’s no checklist to tell you when the right time is—it’s different for everyone. Ask yourself if you’re emotionally and mentally ready to have sex. It’s also important to have a conversation with your partner about taking that step or waiting and about using birth control and condoms if you do decide to take that step.
A: Definitely not. Lots of people wait until they’re married or in a long-term relationship before they have sex. Some people do it for religious reasons, some for personal reasons, and for some it’s a family value. Let your partner know why waiting is important to you. Remember, if your partner respects you, he or she won’t pressure you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with.